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Employed.
Aloha!

Irreplaceable

I should really try to put an end to my bitter way of thought... but for now, VENT VENT VENT! aslkdfjalfa. I really do need a trip out of Sacramento, because I know it has it's perks, but recently I have just been surrounded with fake, loud, annoying people! And I need a break from it all -__-

I literally want to just sock someone. Excuse my aggressiveness. But I really do wish the opposite sex knew how much trouble they cause us sometimes. You're all blind! This is so cheesy, but... "I could have another you in a minute, Matter fact he'll be here in a minute" Lmfaoooo. I'm crazy. But whatever. You just can't handle. :) I wonder if it is possible to be hurt so many times that you just go numb, OR you just don't care anymore. I think thats where I'm at. The careless stage.

Screw you time-wasters, I don't need you. Keepin' my eye on the prize. Priorities straight, nothin' else in my way.

God. Fam. School. Friends. Job. Press PLAY. Intersection Youth. That's already a crap load off top... no room for bops, so BYE!

*OH BTW -- I'm so excited for our show May 15/16. Hopefully everyone comes out to support. Practice was tiring & fun today. Joe came back to practice! Missed that foo.

"We may throw the dice, but the Lord determines how they fall." Proverbs 16:33

Caught up.

Sooooo I finally have some time for myself, and a day just to do.... absolutely nothing at all. It can be very relaxing after having such a tiring week. Relying and trusting more in God for everything that happens to me. Learning not to take everything in my own hands. There is so much out there that I still want to accomplish.

I'm slacking in school but I still maintaing average grades. I'm not satisfied with where I'm at, I need to step it up.

I love Press PLAY, the hard work will pay off for our showcase in May. Come and support! I'm excited. I'm enjoying this moment.

I love love love being busy, even though I don't get sleep at all. It's worth it. Work now, play later.

I'm praying I get this job, not for my own selfish reasons but to help my family out since they do cover a lot of my expenses. I want this oppurtunity and chance to be able to pay them back for what they have provided me, along with treating friends out, saving for college and debut, etc.

Yesterday was my baby brother's birthday and I miss him a lot.. I'm really missing my grandpa's... Steven too. :/ Longboarded to his site the other day. A year ago, I was still attending Valley & I believe me and Steven were getting to know each other. Missing him, still loving him, never forgetting him.

Having full days = no time to think upon things that are not worthy of my time. Time is precious. I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill, I still have a life to live.

LIVELAUGHLOVE. Graduation for '09 is right around the corner. Enjoy it while you can, because it won't last forever. SPREAD THE JOY. THERE IS HOPE. PEACE!

P.L.A.Y. It Forward

The cause of my sleep deprivation, crankiness, large eye bags, and the main reason why I don't have time for anyone anymore...

...but it's all worth it :) COME TO OUR SHOW.

I need SHLEEP.

Honestly tho, rollin’ off 2 hours of sleep every night? It’s gonnna be like this from now until MAY 15 & 16 for our upcoming Press P.l.a.y. show. It’s craziness but I’m lovin’ it. Better than being bored, contemplating upon things that shouldn’t even be on my mind. I’m so close to being over you.

This week, my days consist of

7:45am: School. Total bore.

4:00pm: Infinite Motion auditions/clinics, I need the experience & I’ma do it big my senior year sooo whyyy not give it a shottt!

7:00-whenever: Maricel’s debut practices

10:00-3:00am: Press PLAY

DANCEDANCEDANCEDANCEDANCEDANCEDANCEDANCEDANCE.

Whatsss good. I’m really missin’ you spring break. already tired of schoooooool, bouta' throw up from everyone's FAKENESSSS!

You must not know about me

Soooo.. IT’S OVER ;(

Peace out, spring break; Hello summer. Hellla can’t wait, helllla tired of broads at times, but at the same time I got mad love for em. Spring break was chill, I really didn’t have to be going all over the place to relax myself.. I’m thankful. Don’t need anyone to complete me. Doing my own.

Lemme know what game you’re tryna play so I can play too.

IDGAF 'BOUT NO HOE.

You already know though.

Mood rings.

If I let logic take place of my heart's position, I would in a second...but it seems that emotions always take over & I'm still learning how to stay on top. My time will come when I can finally be my own person. A little pissed off & still kind of hurt, but it's whatever. Time to focus on the up side, but I guess tonight is just another one of those nights; Tomorrow I wake up with a brand new day, at least I can look forward to that. I won't let it weigh me completely down.

I swear, it seems like its up and down, up and down, effing tiring but it's what I gotta go through. It's called high school hormones. Those horriible chemical substances that hits us at these teenage years. Don't worry, you get over it around your mid-twenties. Let's look forward to the day when we all have our heads screwed on right.

I hate being a girl. "Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings."

City tomorrow, so relieved. It's about time I'm outta' the Grove. dress outlets, shopping downtown/Haight, annual ice cream @ Mitchell's, & family business.

:) There is hope.

BTW - I freaking love my cousin because she's hella wise even tho she irritates me. LOL peep her latest post, April 7 2009:

http://truel0vewaits.blogspot.com/

A day of optimism

The only way things are going to change for you is when you change.
Make sure that the outside of you is a good reflection of the inside of you.

• Boys, flings, crushes, relationships in general; they all come and go. I am learning to accept that, and I am learning to move on, learning not to dwell so much in the past because there's a bright future ahead of me. If that means being independent and single for a while, then so be it, but I'm doing my thing... that goes with the saying, never fully rely on anyone. It's nice to be known as the INDEPENDENT one and not the dependent one who can't handle her own. It really doesn't get you anywhere, because people WILL let you down and that's a guarantee. Be your own person. Don't submit to the needs, wants, expectations or standards that people set for you. Set your OWN personal standards HIGH enough for YOURSELF.

• I wish a lot of people knew that you REALLY DON'T need someone to give you happiness. Yes, lonely nights are going to be there once in a while, but there is nothing better then living your days stress free & just giving thanks for what God gives you. I don't know if many people have noticed, but when you're busy & you keep yourself occupied, when you're NOT waiting for anything or anyone and just living your life the way you want to, that's when God gives you someone. And it's good for a while... until that chapter ends, and you're back to doing your own. You get a little taste of what good is coming towards you in the future. Every struggle/story/experience you have with someone is just a step closer to meeting the REAL love of your life. So cheesy, so true. Don't go looking for someone, you are WORTH THE WAIT.

• I need a job but I'm not stressing SO MUCH on it. "Theres a difference between making a living and designing a life." I have patience because I trust that God always provides. Yet I don't want to be entirely content with where I'm at. I should never be content, I always want to have that motivation for myself to push for more... I'm not going to stay in this spot forever, there is always room for progression. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

• I love this weather. It adds on to my happiness.

• School is a breeze, and it shouldn't be. I like to challenge myself. I know I can do better when it comes to education. I'd like to be accepted into a good 4-year college once I graduate. It'd be nice. But if that doesn't happen, then I know for fact that God has bigger plans. Grades don't define intelligence.

• My friends & family may irritate me sometimes, but I need them. In order to keep our relationships with each other healthy, you may need space for a while. I'm good with that. Above all, I have their backs to the fullest. Once high school ends for everyone, people tend to go their seperate ways. Growth and maturity. It's an exciting yet scary thought; Adulthood. It's crazy how time flies. It's crazy to wrap my mind around the thought that we're all growing older. When I'm done with high school and out of the small box full of superficial cliques, I will finally be able to see who will truly be there for me through it all. I like the feeling of telling the world that I only roll with the best of the best...

• The people I surround myself with... some influence me for the better, and some for the worse. I am a life-long learner, forever a student in life. Don't join an easy crowd; you won't grow. Go where the expectations and demands to perform are high.

• Spring break. I remember a year ago, spring break was crackin'. Hope this week will be as well.

• Senior Ball. Eh, I have a year more to go. But I'm excited for Frankin's ball despite the fact that I don't have a date. I don't care much.

• Nowadays, I have really weird dreams. Honestly, I wish I had another dream about Steven rather then the dreams I have been having recently. They leave me waking up pissed off, and they are the most random dreams too. Eh.

• I am loving dance. I get really excited to go to dance practice 3 times a week, even though it ends really late and I go to school super tired. But I feel that 3 nights a week isn't even enough for me. I'm super excited for our big show in May. I hope to see everyone there! It's gonna be BIG.

• I miss the city, but I'm enjoying the suburbs. I don't plan to stay here, but I am making as many friends here as I can until it's time to leave.

• My youth group is the BEST. I love them, and I hope more of my friends will be able to join and experience the fun and growth along with me. There's always room for more.

• Class of 2009... I'm going to be sad when everyone leaves because it's fun having everyone around. But my senior year I'm planning to do it big, and become super involved with everything to occupy and entertain myself. I never want to have a boring moment because I know that once 18 hits, it's responsibility and I'm not quite ready for that just yet. I still like the comfort of my own home and coming home to my loud, active and fun family.

• Words of wisdom... Leave a Legacy. I know a grip of people that left a legacy behind before their passing. I miss them a lot, but they left with being an inspiration. That's what I want to do, to leave with being remembered just like what they did. Live a life that will help others spiritually, intellectually, physically, financially and relationally. Live a life that serves as an example of what an exceptional life can look like.

God is Love. Love never fails.

Springgg breakkk whassup?
This weekend was mad tiring. I fell asleep so many random times during the day... ahahha. Today was another chill day, went to Andre's open mic session @ Village Caffe off Watt, that was dope, headed to franklin to chill & watch the boys play basketball.. then debut practice. Nothing much today but relaxation.

Learning not to care as much, even tho it'll always be in the very back of my mind.

Sooner or later

April fools!

SPRING BREAK, WHATS REALLY GOODDDD
Two more days until the weekend.

Today cheered me up a little, needless to say last night I felt the worst ever... I woke up from a nap and hella just started thinking about EVERYTHING AND I MEAN EVERYTHING :/ Blah.. I hate when I THINK TOO MUCH. Today definitely made up for it though; sold some stuff at Crossroads with Cindy, got good deals & only ended up spending 15 on it.

Thennnn.. figured out stuff for senior ball, I guess. I mean I'm excited and all just to dance but the whole going dateless thing just isn't workin' for me.. especially since I don't even go to that school. At the same time, I don't really want a date either lol. And it's not even my senior year!! Hahaha so it's no biggie. Oh well though, I'm really not even trippin' much, it'd just be nice to rewind about a month back to that cutesy feeling, BLAH there I go again..

I'D HATE TO BECOME MY WORST NIGHTMARE: A WEAK, OVERLY EMOTIONAL GIRL. Because real, I'm a strong person... and my GUARDS ARE UP! But eh.. Just another time-wastin' broad. NEXT!

OH, HAPPY APRIL FOOLS TO CINDY. She got punked, in a cute way. "SENIOR BALL? APRIL FOOLS!" Hellla hurt, but funny lol and you already know that if they woulda done the deed on me I would've fell for that hella bad... HAHAH.

Dance @ 10 tonight, but I'm tired ;/ Nap time. PEACE.